Bila aku marah,

tolong jangan cari pasal boleh?

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Maafkan aku

Maafkan aku.

Aku bukannya tak nak jujur dengan kau.

Aku cuma tak nak nampak lemah depan kau.

Aku nak nampak kuat di mata kau.

Ye!

Memang susah aku nak terima keputusan ni.

Walaupun ini keputusan yang aku buat sendiri.

Tapi aku tak boleh mengalah.

Aku tak boleh tunjuk lemah depan kau.

Sebab aku tak nak kau jadi lemah,

macam aku.

Aku nak kau jadi kuat.

Jangan kata kau tak kuat.

Aku tahu kau kuat!

Aku yakin.

Aku kenal sayang aku.

Sumber kekuatan tu bukan datangnya daripada aku.

Semua itu datang daripada Allah.

Bila kau lemah,

cari lah Allah.

Dia sentiasa ada untuk kau.

Dia sentiasa ada untuk hamba-hambaNya.

Sebab aku sayang kau lah aku buat macam ni.

Aku tak nak kita lalai dengan benda dunia semua ni.

Kita dah banyak lakukan kesilapan.

Kita dah terlalu banyak fikirkan keduniaan.

Sekiranya kau baca post ni.

Aku nak bagitahu,

Aku sayang kau.

Sebab sayang lah aku buat macam ni.

Tak ada niat pun dalam hati aku untuk buat kau sedih.

Maafkan aku sekiranya aku menyakitkan hati kau.

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Miserable

My life.

It is so complicated.

I cannot bear with it.

I don't think I can.

And.

I don't think I will.

Please.

Be with me.

Until the end.

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If

If you are the one for me,

you will be.

If you are not,

you won't be.

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Empty

I don't know what to think.

You do not respond.

To what I have said to you.

I felt empty.

Maybe..

I just need to stop thinking about it.

Move on.

Only time will tell.

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I hate you

I wish
I have a courage to tell you the truth.

Oh come on.
I know you don't like me either.

So please do not be silly.
Act like what you should be.
Do not pretend in front of me.

It is annoying to have you in my life.

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Does it bother you?

Playing games.

It is my hobby.

So what?

Do you have problems with that?

Well,

I don't even care.

I am studying with my own way.

Don't you dare to argue with my way.

I play a lot.

Yeah.

I know that.

But that does not mean that I am not studying at all.

You and me.

We are different.

We are not the same.

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To be honest

I don't know how to make myself comfortable with you.

Seriously,

I do not know how.

And I do not think I can.

You are the opposite of me.

I am trying.

But it does not work.

But it is okay I guess.

I do not really mind.

As long as you are not make me upset.

Well,

I am a hot-tempered person.

Please be careful with me.

I am no longer the person that you know when I get angry.

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There is a reason in everything.

Mungkin ni lah hikmahnya. Maybe Allah nak tunjuk macam mana saya dulu. Maybe Allah nak saya rasa apa perasaan orang yang saya salahkan dulu. Letakkan kesalahan pada orang lain. Padahal tak kenal pun orang tu. And orang tu tak kenal pun saya. Just put the blame on her because I think she is the reason why he changed. The reason why he change is because of himself. If he truly loves you, he will never find another girl.

Tak tahu apa apa, then tak pasal pasal dilabel "perampas". Itu lah apa yang saya buat dulu. "Don't jugde a book by its cover." Kita tak berada dalam situasi yang dia lalui, then kenapa kita nak buat andaian and pandai pandai letak kesalahan tu kat orang? Terasa macam orang bodoh. Pandai pandai judge orang. Padahal tak tahu pun pasal orang tu. Saya yang salah sebenarnya. Bukan salah dia dan perempuan tu. Salah saya sebab tak dapat terima hakikat. Saya saya sebab salahkan takdir.

Jodoh tu kat tangan Allah. Apa hak kita nak halang apa yang Allah dah takdirkan? Terima je lah. Semua tu ada hikmahnya. Tak perlu nak pertikaikan. Redha dengan apa yang jadi. Fikir positif. Sekuat mana pun awak mencuba, kalau ditakdirkan dia bukan jodoh awak, still tak kemana jugak hubungan awak dengan dia. "Kalau ada jodoh, tak kemana."

Sebab benda ni, saya belajar sabar. Saya belajar macam mana nak kawal perasaan marah. Alhamdulillah, saya boleh sabar. Semua perkara yang jadi ni banyak ajar saya. "Experience is the best teacher." Makin banyak dugaan yang kita lalui, kita makin matang. Kita boleh fikir mana baik dan mana buruk. Boleh fikir apa yang patut kita buat and apa yang tak patut kita buat. Takdelah terus nak letak kesalahan kat orang lain.

They said learn from mistakes. Maybe semua benda yang jadi ni sebab salah saya jugak. Saya yang tak pandai nak jaga hati orang, saya yang silap buat pilihan, saya salah pilih jalan. Semua orang pernah gagal dalam banyak perkara. Sebenarnya, kegagalan tu lah yang mengajar kita untuk jadi lebih kuat. Bila kita gagal, kita tabahkan hati, kuatkan hati untuk bangun semula.

What comes around goes around. Bila ada orang buat benda yang tak baik kat kita, cuba fikir balik. Kita ada tak buat macam tu kat orang? Hm. Mesti ada kat mana mana silap kita yang Allah nak tunjuk. Allah nak kita sedar apa yang kita pernah buat dulu. Sedarlah dengan kesalahan diri sendiri.

Beware of your words, it might hurt others. Kadang kadang apa yang kita cakap tu mungkin perkara biasa. Tapi ingatlah, orang lain pun ada perasaan. Maybe bagi kita apa yang kita kata tu takde apa apa makna, tapi mana tahu orang lain? Bukan semua orang sama macam kita. Orang lain ada perasaan masing masing. Even if perkara tu kecil, still boleh sakitkan hati orang lain jugak.

*Note to myself*

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year guys! I hope it is not too late to wish a happy New Year. Does anyone celebrate New Year this year? Well, me too.  It was filled with noise, excitement and sing like crazy. In short, stress. Eh? I can’t see the connection between noises, excitement, and singing like crazy with stress. Hmm. I mean, making noise when we are stress, the excitement to remember all the formulas, and singing like crazy to release the tension. Yeah! I’m celebrating New Year’s Eve with exams! It was a lot of fun actually. *Hand on the shoulder, eyes glance over* - Like if you get this! (y)

Right now, I can take a deep breath. It was over. The exam was finally over! Not for all students in UMP. It was just for me. For DKK students to be exact. Well, we are lucky enough to finish those exams earlier. *grin* It’s not that others were unlucky. They are just not so lucky like us. Doesn't that have the same meaning? Em yeah whatever. Just ignore it.

Hm. So, I have nothing to do right now. I want to stay a bit longer in UMP. Maybe it is because of someone. Or maybe it is because of I will miss UMP. It’s already half a year I live in UMP. There are a lot of memories here. I've grown in UMP. No. I've grown in Cyberjaya. Yeah. Cyberjaya. But whatever it is, I’m very sure that I’ll miss UMP. Universiti Malaysia Pahang okay. Not the person in UMP. Well, he stays at Gombak. So it is not a big deal. Haha.

Hm. Not to forget. For those who are still taking final exam, I wish you guys a good luck! Do your very best okay? Study smart, and study hard! You guys are not high school students anymore. And, don’t play too much! And for those who have finished their final exam, be prepared for the next semester. Four flat is our target! Hehe. That’s all. Farewell UMP. See you in February.

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